I fear love.

She said she’s not going to fall for anyone just yet; that love has no space in her heart as of now. But why is it that she kept on searching? Looking for someone who can help her mend the pain and replace it with pleasant ones? Is it because the pain is too much that she needed something to keep her away from it? Or love just never let her off its sight?

We look for love not just because of the “kilig” moments we have when we’re in love... We search for it because we want to be accepted, have someone who’d be with us and share their life with. It is something that others try to escape yet somehow it always finds its way to hit us right at our hearts unnoticeably.

We can’t deny the fact that through love we are captured by its presence, caught up in what seems like an unending bliss, making us crave and wish that things will stay the same forever. It’s tough to stay single. Every day I see couples holding hands, drowned in sweet moments, saying heartfelt nothings and glow with the aura of love. I must admit, that sometimes I am envious of them. I sometimes caught myself reminiscing of the past and thinking of the what-might-have-been, the what ifs and if only.

“When he left me, it rained. It’s as if the sky was mourning with me. With every sobs and every falling tear, the sadness poured.”

I cried, I wept. The doleful feeling I felt attributed to me wishing for someone to come and help me, rescue me from the bittersweet situation I detained myself to.

My wishes did come true… Some came but eventually they left. Every fulfilled wish was wasted. Sadly, I was not yet ready and likewise, falling for me was synonymous with the words pain, hurt, brokenhearted, bitter, solitude, and suffering…

“I am single not because I am bitter. I am single because I realized that there are more important things in life than love. Sadly, I learned how to prioritize…”

Love has always had that special place in us; majority of us refers to it as a reason to live. We live our lives searching for that someone whom we want to spend our lives with. For whatever fate has done to me, it changed me greatly. Call me a man-hater or the bitterest person ever, I won’t deny the fact that the so-called love has betrayed me…