Moving forward..

Somewhere between the hurt and hoping is a heart that wishes things didn’t end. Desperately, I’m reaching out for someone who’d rescue me from this fall. And yet, I find myself in a pit of despair, distress and solitude.

“Why hope? Why even bother to care? When the only path left to choose is to walk away.”

He left. The “happily-ever-after” ending that I dreamed about suddenly turned into a nightmare. Isn’t it sad that in our lives, we have to say goodbye to those we love and care about for some reasons we can’t explain, and that no matter how you try to save the good old times it just wouldn’t work. And the only right thing left to do is to break away and let go to prove them just how much pain you are willing to take just to see them so damn happy.

Yes I am hurt, but here I am still hoping he’d be back. It hurts to think that I’m still crying, mourning over someone who has left me with no second-thoughts. It is true that love does bring out the stupid part in us. For even in pain, we love. Even for a small possibility, we hope. That even for a slightest chance, we pray. And with all that hoping and praying, we let ourselves bleed once more, tormenting our hearts with the agonizing truth that we were left behind by the people we love.

“Why kept holding on to someone who is on the other hand struggling to get away from you?“

Sometimes, I just can’t understand why love allows pain to take its place. But one thing is for sure, ayaw niya na. Whatever his reasons are, I’m letting him go. He has let go of someone who loved him better, someone who accepted him despite all, someone who continue and faithfully hold on despite his struggle to move away. And now, I’m walking away.